


167 Hot New Sex Tips You Must Learn, and other bad advice

by Mitsususu



Series: Don't Try This At Home [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Beefy Bucky Barnes, Breeding Kink, Chaperones, Childhood Friends, Comfort Pillows, Happy Bucky Barnes, Happy Steve Rogers, Knotting, M/M, Masturbation, Matchmaker Tony Stark, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Modern Era, Mpreg, Mutual Pining, Nesting, No Underage Sex, Omega Steve Rogers, POV Multiple, Playmating, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Romance, Rutting, Sex Education, Sexual Tension, Smut, Steve and Bucky are chaperones, play mating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:01:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27408481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mitsususu/pseuds/Mitsususu
Summary: Steve ran around the room for the fifth time. After going through the standard running pounces, Bucky had started demonstrating non-traditional ambushing.“But what if the omega’s pregnant? Cosmo says you should pounce like this.” Peter held up an illustration. Steve’s mouth dropped open in disbelief. He snagged a comfort pillow from the ground and stuffed it under his shirt.“Does it look like I’ll be running anywhere?” Steve gestured at his bulging belly. “You don’t pounce pregnant omegas! Back me up, Bucky.” Steve glanced over when he was met with silence. Bucky was flushed and staring at Steve’s stomach with a glazed expression. Was he feeling unwell?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Don't Try This At Home [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008525
Comments: 90
Kudos: 456





	1. "I Ate a Doughnut Off My Boyfriend's Penis and It Was Awesome"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InterruptedCadence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterruptedCadence/gifts).



> For Jess, who waited two months for this
> 
> Special thanks to [CanadianGarrison](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanadianGarrison/pseuds/CanadianGarrison) for beta reading <3
> 
> Background Info: Playmating is a very tiny tiny trope that sprung out of Teen Wolf Omegaverse alpha/beta/omega dynamic stories. On top of alphas having physical knots and omegas producing slick/being able to conceive, some writers went one step further and explored the sexual education sector of society. They paired up alpha kids with omega kids (Play Mates) to "practice" mating. An alpha kid would learn how to control themselves and not hurt their omegas, and omegas would learn to be more comfortable in a "knot locking" position and not panic. Some writers expanded on this and wrote about Play Rooms, where groups of kids could play mate with each other under the watchful eyes of adult chaperones. It boils down to public grinding and sexual tension. There wasn't a Stucky Playmating story, so I wrote a silly little thing in September [here,](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26249770) and then that spawned a plot bunny where they were both chaperones. I wanted it to be a little more serious (or as serious as I write) so this story was born.

> Subject: PlayMate Chaperone - Reminder!
> 
> Dear Steve Rogers,
> 
> Thank you for signing up! 
> 
> You have chosen the following shift(s): Saturdays from 1:00 pm to 6:00 pm
> 
> Location: Brooklyn - Playroom A
> 
> Put My Commitments on My Calendar  
>  View/Change My Commitments
> 
> To invite your friends to Sign Up, click here
> 
> PLEASE KEEP THIS EMAIL MESSAGE - it’s your link for accessing your signup any time in the future.
> 
> Thanks for participating!

Steve stepped into the Playroom and ugh, he was on the same shift as Brock. Brock only talked about going to the gym and his gains. He never seemed to understand why his limited conversation topics failed to impress Steve. The alpha talked at him, rarely listened, and didn’t take no for an answer. Steve would request a location change if it didn’t mean another omega would have to deal with the insufferable alpha.

Steve tidied the mock den area, folding blankets neatly and tuning out whatever Brock was saying. As usual, the lack of response didn’t deter the alpha one bit. He followed Steve around the room, brushing up against him every chance he got. Brock slung an arm around Steve, and Steve pushed him off with an annoyed snarl. He was about to give Brock a piece of his mind when someone else entered the room. It was another chaperone. 

A very _attractive_ chaperone.

Built like a tank. Soft-looking wavy brown hair. Wide shoulders, muscled biceps, strong thighs. A thick, thick torso. There was chest hair peeking out from the alpha’s red henley. Steve licked his lips. The man turned his head and Steve saw steel-blue eyes, sensual lips, a chin dimple. He looked like-

“Bucky?” Steve’s heart skipped and he stepped forward, drawn like a moth towards a light. He hadn’t seen Bucky since they graduated from high school, but Steve would know his old PlayMate anywhere. Steve never forgot his first and only love; no one came close. The few dates he went on in college only proved that Bucky had ruined Steve for other alphas.

“Steve?” Bucky looked gobsmacked.

“Bucky!” Steve was thrilled at being recognized despite his late-growth spurt. He impulsively ran and leapt, trusting Bucky to catch him.

Steve wrapped his legs around Bucky’s solid, solid body, and tried to subtly touch his chest. Bucky looked flustered. 

“Your alpha, uh, doesn’t look too happy.”

“What?” Steve looked up from squeezing Bucky’s pec. Bucky nodded towards Brock and Steve scoffed.

“I don’t have an alpha, and even if I did, it wouldn’t _ever_ be Brock.” 

“Oh.” Bucky’s scent thickened. “That’s, that’s real nice.”

Steve breathed in Bucky’s familiar and comforting smell. When Steve had gone to college, he spent hours fruitlessly scenting his dorm room, trying to recreate the smell of home. It was only after a week that he realized the smell he was missing was _Bucky._

“I missed you.” Steve confessed. Bucky gripped Steve tighter, and Steve nuzzled their noses together affectionately. “But what are you doing here? You hated chaperones! You called them killjoys.”

Bucky scowled. “Because they were killjoys.” Bucky swiped a hand over his face. “I’m keeping an eye on one of our high school interns. Peter Parker. He’s a good kid. I would’ve signed up even if the boss didn’t ask.” 

Steve’s heart warmed. That was just like Bucky. 

“What about you? You didn’t like chaperones either.”

“I got an email saying they were low on volunteers. It was the right thing to do.” 

Bucky shook his head, smiling at him fondly. Steve smiled helplessly back.

“Tell me everything,” Steve demanded. “Where you’ve been, what you’re doing now, everything.” Steve tucked himself against Bucky’s side, staying close and not letting him out of sight. If it put Steve in a better position to fondle Bucky’s incredibly muscled chest, well, who was Steve to turn that down? 

-☆- 

Bucky turned away and subtly adjusted his hard cock. This was the last place he expected to reunite with Steve. Steve looked like a dream and smelled even better. 

It’d been seven years, three months, and thirteen days since Bucky last saw him. Bucky had gotten a full ride to MIT and flung himself into his studies, trying to become the best alpha Steve could ever ask for. If Bucky could convince Steve to give him a shot, he’d do anything to keep him. 

Bucky thanked his lucky stars that Steve was still unmated. In moments of weakness when he missed Steve like an unshakable ache, he fantasized about throwing open church doors to intercept Steve’s mating ceremony and sweep him away. As it was, Bucky had fast-tracked through his Bachelors and Masters degrees, and had been headhunted by Stark Engineering after a few years with Hammer Industries. This wasn’t how he had pictured their reunion, but it wasn’t a bad time for it. He had a well-paying job, his own place, and no debt.

Unfortunately, his courtship would have to wait. Little Peter Parker had just entered, and Bucky already spied a few older teens looking to cause trouble. Bucky cracked his knuckles. Time to enforce some Rules.

-☆-

Steve helped a young omega adjust the straps of her Knot-Me-Not panel. There would be no “accidentally-on-purpose” slippage here, not on his watch. He had just finished tightening the buckles when he was approached by another omega holding a magazine and vegetables. 

“Hi! I have a question about oral exercises? I’d ask my Aunt May, but she’s always at work, and I really want to impress my future alpha. I’ve got this training diagram, but it doesn’t make sense. Or maybe I’m doing it wrong? Will you help me?”

Steve stared dubiously at the Cosmopolitan article and then at the vegetables.

“Please? I really want to learn!”

The omega’s eyes were wide and hopeful, and the article was _wrong_ , so Steve agreed despite himself.

-☆-

Bucky’s attention drifted towards Steve again. Steve had always been quick to pick a fight with an unfair chaperone, and now that he was a chaperone himself, it seemed Steve was determined to be patient and kind towards the kids. 

As a matter of fact, Steve was in front of a group of young omegas now. They watched avidly as Steve gestured animatedly with a carrot… and then deepthroated a cucumber.

Holy fuck.

Bucky braced a hand against the wall as all his blood went rushing down to his cock.

-☆-

After circling the room to better avoid Brock, Steve once again found himself near Bucky’s intern. This time, Peter was straddling an alpha girl with red hair and freckles. Peter turned wide eyes towards Steve.

“What do I do now, sir?”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew for a fact this was covered in Chapter 8 of the Playmating And You! textbook. Bucky had been so worried about crushing Steve that he had insisted on only riding positions for the first year. They accumulated hundreds of practice hours, grinding against each other, noses tucked against scent glands. Steve bit back a wistful sigh at the memory of floating on Bucky’s scent and the warmth of his embrace. 

“Look, just.” Steve grabbed a comfort pillow and squatted over it, knees spread, and thighs nearly resting on his heels.

-☆-

Bucky felt his breath punch out of him as Steve alternated bouncing and sensually rolling his hips. Bucky’s brain helpfully provided memories of Steve’s quiet gasps and moans as his warm body undulated against his. He wanted to be that pillow. He _needed_ to be that pillow. 

-☆-

Steve startled as he was casually lifted by strong arms and hauled onto Bucky’s lap. Steve was confused but pleased, his fingers curling, hand moving automatically to knead Bucky’s pecs. Every other alpha who tried manhandling Steve got clawed in the eyes and a punch wherever he could reach. Not Bucky though, never Bucky. 

“MJ, steady your omega like this.” Bucky demonstrated various holds, sliding his grip from Steve’s waist to his hips, to his thighs, and settling on his ass. 

Steve let his weight settle more fully and let out a small whimper when he felt the thick bar of Bucky’s erection through their pants. He shifted, trying to subtly rub against it, feeling it clearly for the first time without a Knot-Me-Not panel between them. Steve imagined what it’d be like for real, for Bucky’s cock to be _inside_. He licked his lips and watched Bucky’s eyes track the motion. Steve was going to soak through his pants at this rate.

**BRRRIING!!**

The bell that marked the end of the shift was like a splash of cold water. Steve came to his senses. 

He hopped up and grinned brightly down at Peter and MJ. 

“Well! I hope that was educational! Have a great week!” Steve started to power walk out the door.

“Steve, wanna-”

Whatever Bucky wanted was going to have to wait because Steve needed an orgasm _now._

Steve snuck into an unused storeroom in the back, shoved down his pants, and slipped fingers inside himself, moaning in relief. He pinched his nipple with his free hand, eyes fluttering shut. He imagined Bucky behind him, touching, teasing. He slipped another finger inside on the next thrust, speeding up. He tilted his head back against the wall, an offering to an absent alpha. Steve hurtled towards his orgasm with thoughts of Bucky.

-☆-

Steve was in his studio working on a new painting when Tony dropped by. Tony always claimed he wanted another commission, but privately Steve thought Tony just wanted someone to talk to.

Steve stayed at his easel, content with letting the other omega poke and prod at the sketches and canvases scattered around the room. It wasn’t like he had anything to hide.

“No new drawings of mystery man?” Tony quipped, flipping through the most recent Bucky Sketchbook. 

“Um, no.” Steve blushed. Now that they’ve been reunited, Steve wanted to capture the older and mature version of Bucky. However, every time he sat down to draw, he always ended up touching himself instead of the paper. He’s had more orgasms than ever, but no new drawings. He wasn’t going to tell that to Tony.

-☆-

“Hey, kid. Here’s another magazine.” 

“Thanks, Mister Stark, sir!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 will be posted tomorrow :)


	2. “Sprinkle a little pepper under his nose right before he climaxes. Sneezing can feel similar to an orgasm and amplify the feel-good effects.”

“Chaperone Barnes, can you show us a forward pounce?” Peter and MJ asked.

Jasper, another omega chaperone, started walking over to assist. Before Bucky could despair having to touch him, Steve appeared like magic.

“Hi! Yes, I can help!” Steve shooed Jasper away and then held onto the edge of Bucky’s sleeve just like he used to. Bucky’s heart sped up at the thought of chasing Steve. Pouncing Steve, well, it was a heady thought.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this, Steve?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be? It’s not a big deal.” 

“Right. Sure.” Bucky floundered.

“Do you not want me?” Steve bit his lip and looked up through his eyelashes. 

“I want you!!” He blurted, trying not to ravish Steve then and there. He took a steadying breath. “Okay. Forward pounce. When you’re ready.” 

Steve grinned and took off at a leisurely jog towards the other end of the room. Bucky saw Rumlow track Steve’s progress. He growled low. Steve was _his._

Bucky chased after his omega.

-☆-

Steve ran around the room for the fifth time. After going through the standard running pounces, Bucky had started demonstrating non-traditional ambushing.

Bucky was getting more and more feral with each pounce. It was incredibly hot. Steve shivered, aroused beyond belief. 

“Does it hurt?”

“Not the way Bucky does it.” With less considerate alphas, Steve would’ve been long bruised and scratched up. “He tucks me in close and always rolls us during the fall. He cushions the impact whenever we hit the ground.” 

“Is it scary?” 

“Not at all.” In fact, it was the opposite. Steve had missed the weight of Bucky on him, the sense of safety, of being bracketed between his arms and surrounded by Bucky’s scent. 

“That neck grip looked painful!” 

“Uh, no. It feels good. Really good.” Steve closed his mouth before he could add anything incriminating about how he just wanted Bucky to just _take_. 

“But what if the omega’s pregnant? Cosmo says you should pounce like this.” Peter held up an illustration.

Steve’s mouth dropped open in disbelief. He snagged a comfort pillow from the ground and stuffed it under his shirt.

“Does it look like I’ll be running anywhere?” Steve gestured at his bulging belly. “You don’t pounce pregnant omegas! Back me up, Bucky.” Steve glanced over when he was met with silence. Bucky was flushed and staring at Steve’s stomach with a glazed expression. Was he feeling unwell? The alpha was usually the epitome of good health. Steve bit his lips worryingly. “Bucky? You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Bucky shook himself out of it, blinking rapidly. He frowned at the kids. “Pregnant omegas are delicate. You gotta build a nest to draw them in, not jump them.” 

Bucky began stacking pillows and arranging blankets, narrating construction techniques and tips while MJ looked on. Steve knew firsthand how well-made Bucky’s nests were, and it looked like his skill had only improved with time. 

One of Steve’s guilty pleasures was watching alphas on HGTV build dens and nests. Watching Bucky, The Alpha Who Got Away, build one right in front of Steve was something else entirely. In no time at all, Bucky was done, and he reached out for Steve’s hand.

In a daze, Steve let himself be led inside, sinking down into the cozy space. Bucky curled up around him, rumbling quietly, holding him tightly and stroking a hand over Steve’s pillow-stuffed belly.

-☆-

Bucky dashed out of the playroom right after the bell rang. Steve pouted. He had wanted to ask Bucky out to dinner, as a date, maybe. Well, Steve consoled himself, there was always next week.

-☆-

Except next week, Steve ended up having another Urgent Appointment with the storage room. 

-☆-

Steve looked over the clutch of omegas and felt a little proud of their progress. Chaperoning wasn’t so bad. Maybe he’d sign up again next year. 

An off-tune warble caught his attention. It was Peter, sitting alone near the pile of comfort pillows, looking forlorn. 

“Hey, Peter. What are you doing?” Steve inquired.

“I’m finding a new PlayMate. Harry Osborn asked out MJ during lunch yesterday, and she said yes, which is great for her, really, I don’t mind, but now I don’t have an alpha and I didn’t want to tell Aunt May because she gets so excited whenever I come here, and I don’t want to let her down, but I don’t have a PlayMate, and I read about how to do a mating song, but it’s not working because none of the alphas are coming over.”

Ugh, Cosmo, again. Steve was going to write them a strongly worded letter on journalistic integrity. 

“Peter, you can’t believe everything in those magazines. For one thing, it’s a cry, not a song. The first thing to do before attempting a mating cry is to consider your specific situation. If you’re in a crowded or noisy place, you’ll need to cry loud. When your alpha is far away, you’ll have to sustain it long enough for them to find you. And you also need to consider how desperate to sound: not enough and alphas will ignore it, too much and you might push them into rut.” 

Steve looked around the Playroom. “There’s a few uncoupled alphas here, so I don’t think it will be too difficult for you to try.” Steve braced himself for the inevitable question.

“Will you show me how?”

And there it was. Steve sighed. The last thing he wanted was to cry near Brock. Maybe if he did it very quickly and very quietly it would go unnoticed? 

-☆-

From nearby, Bucky watched with interest. He wasn’t stalking Steve, he wasn’t. He was just conveniently in the same part of the room. Just looking out for their favorite intern, that’s him. 

Steve knelt down and presented, his back arching like a vision. Bucky licked his lips. 

Steve was blushing, obviously self-conscious, but still willing enough to go through with whatever the lesson was. He looked cute. Steve took a deep breath and then-

Bucky’s feet were moving before he knew it, the mating cry slicing through any coherent thought and overriding everything. He could feel his knot start to pulse, eager to lock in tight. Yeah, Bucky was going to knot, he was going to fill him up, breed him full.

He was on his omega, bent over and pressed close, grinding his erection against that plush ass, mouthing the omega’s sweet neck and breathing in the scent of arousal and panic? That didn’t seem right.

“Bucky! O-oh, Bucky!” 

Bucky blinked and came back to himself. He was humping Steve, teeth around his mating gland but not bitten down, just barely. 

Bucky stilled his hips and unhinged his jaw. The panicked scent faded immediately, and Steve pressed back, _chasing_ him. He gripped Steve tightly.

“Steve.” He rumbled. “What the _fuck_.” 

Steve only moaned under him. Fuck. Bucky’s pheromones must have sent Steve over. From this close, Steve was ambrosia, and Bucky needed to get away before he became lost a second time. He was so hard. All Bucky wanted was to press closer.

“Um, Chaperone Barnes?” Peter ventured. “I’m sorry, it was my fault.”

“No, kid.” Bucky grunted. “This punk could’ve said no.”

“Jerk. I didn’t think anyone else was close enough to hear.” Steve was coming back to himself. Good? Bad? Bucky’s brain and cock were at odds. 

Inch by inch, Bucky relaxed his hold on Steve. Steve made a distressed noise and Bucky petted him soothingly. “You’re fine,” he assured. “You’re good. We’re good.” 

Bucky glanced at the clock. 5:55 pm. Good. He only had to hang in there for five more minutes. He could do this. 

He did his best to keep his distance, counting down the seconds until he could find somewhere private. 

And then it was finally 6 pm!

“I- I gotta go.” Bucky stumbled out and went back to the unused storeroom.

“Oh, fuck.” He groaned as he finally, finally got his hands on his dick. That fucking mating cry! He jacked himself off furiously, fucking his fist with rough thrusts. Bucky wanted to pound Steve hard and relentlessly. “Fuck.” He squeezed his balls, squeezed his rapidly expanding knot, his eyes rolling back at how good it felt. He wanted to be inside Steve. Steve would be so tight, so hot. Bucky was close. Maybe Steve would whimper, maybe he’d say Bucky’s name in that helpless way again, maybe he’d call Bucky _alpha_. “Fuck!” The orgasm ripped through him and his hands clamped down around his knot, milking out every ounce of pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 will be posted next week! :)


	3. “I Used Pizza as a Sex Toy”

“Listen up, pups: we’re under a severe weather alert. We’ve been instructed to keep you guys here until it’s safe to be out again. Don’t worry, your caretakers have been alerted and will be kept updated. There’s pizza and drinks in the main hall. Find one of us if you need anything, okay? We’ll stay here with you until it’s safe to go home.” 

The teens scrambled out of the Playroom, some making a dash for the food, others retrieving their things from the storage lockers. Most were on their cellphones or playing with their Nintendo Switch. A few, like Peter, started to work on their homework. Wade, his newest PlayMate, was sneaking extra food onto Peter’s plate. It brought a smile to Steve’s face; Bucky used to do that for him too. 

And speaking of Bucky, he was consoling two crying kids, the twins. Steve swung by the Play Dens to grab some blankets and headed over. They all rearranged themselves so that Bucky held Steve and Steve held the twins. Steve started up a soothing purr and Bucky ramped up his scent to better project security.

Slowly the crying ebbed and the twins drifted off to exhausted slumber. Steve breathed a sigh of relief; sudden changes in schedule were especially tough on kids who relied on structure.

Carefully, Steve set down the kids and started to extricate himself from the blankets. Bucky’s arm around Steve’s waist tightened. 

“Stay a little longer,” he mumbled into Steve’s hair. 

Steve _did_ feel rather relaxed. He leaned back into Bucky and enjoyed the moment. 

It wasn’t often that Steve felt delicate these days. After puberty, his size was on par with the average alpha. But cradled against Bucky’s broad chest and gently wrapped in Bucky’s muscled arms, Steve felt like he was 14 again, held by his PlayMate for the first time. Steve loved Bucky then, Steve loved Bucky now.

 _I just love him so much_ , Steve thought, feeling overwhelmed. _I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him._ Steve couldn’t let another moment go by without telling Bucky. 

He turned his head and froze. Bucky’s face was Right There. Steve’s breath caught. 

“Bucky,” he breathed, “I have to tell you something.” 

Bucky wasn’t moving away. Bucky was still holding Steve and _he wasn’t moving away_. Steve’s heart wanted to fly out of his chest. 

“I have to tell you something too,” Bucky whispered.

Like a magnet, Steve found himself slowly drawn towards those plush lips. Closer, and closer.

“Storm’s over! Get out of here, twerps!” Brock’s loud voice jarred Steve out of his trance.

Bucky jolted back, hands falling away.

Steve flushed, awkward and self-conscious, over-warm from the blankets and Bucky. Steve felt scent-drunk. He stumbled to his feet, stumbled through excuses, and then stumbled to the storeroom. 

It felt like his heat was starting. 

It was too early for his next heat, though. His shaky knees gave out and he lay on the ground, hands trembling as he worked off his pants. He’d take care of himself and everything would go back to normal.

But nothing he did seemed to be working. 

He thrashed. His fingers, for some reason insufficient this time, were cramping up. Tears of frustration welled up and he blinked them away. 

“Bucky,” he cried, wishing for something of Bucky’s to smell, regretting not taking the blanket. “Alpha!” 

The door flung open.

Bucky stood there, chest heaving, eyes wild. 

“Bucky! Please,” Steve begged. 

Steve couldn’t tell if Bucky was going to come in or go, and the thought of Bucky leaving caused a new rush of tears.

“Steve,” Bucky rushed to his side, gathering him up. Steve tucked his face into Bucky’s neck and sobbed. 

“Don’t go, Bucky.”

“You smell like you’re in heat.” 

Steve grabbed Bucky’s hand and brought it down. “Help me. Please.”

“You don’t want this, it's just the heat talking,” Bucky said, as Steve dipped his fingers inside. 

“I want you, always wanted you,” Steve insisted. “My alpha.” 

Bucky kissed him deep. His fingers pressed against a spot that made Steve moan. Bucky growled low in response.

“Bucky, Bucky,” Steve groaned. It was so much. “Oh, Bucky, I’m gonna-”

“Do it, Stevie.” Bucky urged, kissing him into orgasm. 

-☆-

For the first time, Bucky was grateful that Stark arranged for a company car to wait outside. He usually declined the ride, preferring to walk home, but today it was a godsend. 

He carried Steve into the car, murmuring sweet words. The beta driver raised the privacy screen without a word.

-☆-

It was so hot. Steve was burning up, feeling restless and fuzzy. He snuck his hands under Bucky’s shirt, clinging desperately to his cool skin. He mouthed at Bucky’s neck, trying to swallow down more scent. It was the only thing that offered relief because Bucky refused to fuck him in the car. _Jerk_.

“We’re almost there, sweetheart.” Bucky crooned. “We’re almost there.”

Steve nipped at his jaw, growing increasingly frustrated. Bucky kept saying they’re “almost there” and they Still. Weren’t. There. 

“Bucky,” Steve glared, “if you don’t get inside me soon, I swear-”

“We’re here! We’re here! Thank fuck,” Bucky hoisted Steve up and jumped out of the car before it came to a complete stop. 

Steve was vaguely aware of some stairs, a door, and then being blessedly hit by a wave of Bucky’s scent. He purred and pulled off his own shirt. Bucky fumbled a little, but adjusted his grip. Steve preened, knowing his alpha would never let him fall. 

Steve was set down on a bed. It smelled delicious. He stretched his limbs, shedding his pants as he rolled his face against the pillows. Something was missing. He paused. Where was Bucky? Steve propped himself up and looked around blurrily. 

“Alpha?”

“I’m here, I’m here.” Bucky rushed back in carrying bottled water. He dropped them on the bedside table and worked off his clothes. 

Steve’s gaze zeroed in on Bucky’s erect cock. It was magnificent. It was just as thick as the rest of him. Steve needed it inside, it didn’t matter how.

He let out a mating cry. 

-☆-

Bucky groaned in bliss. His omega was beautifully flushed under him, keening softly as Bucky thrust into him over and over and over again. _Mine_. Steve had already come twice on his cock. It felt incredible. This was better than any dream.

“Close, I’m close. Knot, please,” Steve begged, already starting to tremble. 

Bucky growled low, rolling over so he wouldn't crush his omega when his knot inflated again. Rut is amazing. He planted his feet on the bed, gripped Steve's hips and fucked up, bouncing him up and down. Bucky's knot was swelling, starting to catch. With one final thrust, he pumped deep into his omega, locked them together and orgasmed. _Mine._

-☆-

“Bucky, Bucky, wake up.” 

Bucky opened his eyes. They were still knotted together, and Steve was kneading Bucky’s chest anxiously. Bucky ran his hands along Steve’s sides, both to soothe and to scent him.

Steve took a deep breath. “I love you, Bucky.” Steve declared bravely, despite looking a little nervous. 

Bucky’s heart swelled. He lifted Steve’s hands and pressed his lips against them reverently.

“I love you, too.” Bucky thought of their years apart. All cards on the table. “I want forever with you. I never stopped wanting you to be mine.”

Steve smiled like the sun. 

“Will you mate me, Steven Grant Rogers?” 

“Yes, Bucky!” Steve threw his arms around him, peppering kisses all over his face. “Will you do it now? Please?” 

“You don’t think it’s too soon?”

“I was ready when we were 18, but if you don’t want to, I can just find someone else and-” Steve cut off with a gasp as Bucky sunk his teeth deep into Steve’s mating gland. 

“The hell you will,” Bucky said smugly, licking around the bite.

-☆-

The next morning, Bucky traded lazy kisses with Steve. There was no sense of urgency from his rut, and Steve’s temperature felt like it had returned to normal. It was strange. Heats usually lasted a week, and only ended early when-

Bucky paled.

“Steve, we didn’t use protection.” 

Steve smelled Hurt-Sad, and between one moment and the next, he’d taken off and run out of the bedroom. 

Bucky cursed, his predator/prey drive still fresh from rut. Bucky was on his feet, chasing, bringing him down and pinning him on the couch. 

“Don’t. Run.” Bucky growled, trying to hang onto his sanity. It was highly likely Steve was already, already-

“You don’t want kids.” Steve sobbed into the cushions.

“What? Where did you get that idea?” Bucky was flabbergasted. 

“You never said!”

“Because you were small and sickly! It wouldn’t have been safe.” Bucky dropped his head on Steve’s shoulder. “I would have picked you over having a million kids.”

“A million?” Steve laughed wetly. He swiped a hand across his eyes.

“Punk. Hey,” he gently turned Steve over, keeping a protective hand over Steve’s belly. “Are you okay with this?” 

“Alpha,” Steve threaded his fingers through Bucky’s hair. “I’ve mated the love of my life, and I’m probably pregnant with a baby we both want. Yes, I’m very okay. I couldn’t be more okay if I tried.” 

-☆-

They were comparing baby shower guest lists when Steve noticed something odd.

“How do you know Tony Stark?”

“How do _you_ know Tony Stark?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D 
> 
> Part 1 is done! Yes, this is now a series with more chaperoning adventures to come. This Steve and Bucky will continue on to navigate their mpreg with more playmating and bad sex tips from Maxim. Brock finally, finally gets rekt.
> 
> Thank you for reading and a big thank you for the kudos/comments! I love hearing what you think!


	4. Buy This Now!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Fake Magazine Cover

Order Your Copy Today!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist ahahahaha!!


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